


Janine's not him

by Urshiu



Category: Hot Fuzz (2007)
Genre: Angelbutter - Freeform, Angst, Complete, Confrontations, Cute, F/M, Gay, Gay Male Character, I Ship It, M/M, One shot?, Short, im not straight janine, light fluff, nick and danny are gay for each other fight me, takes place a bit after the movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-03-09 21:00:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18924925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Urshiu/pseuds/Urshiu
Summary: Janine comes back into Nick's life, but he doesn't feel for her the way he used to. Rated E for Everyone. Mild draaaamaaa.





	Janine's not him

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of “She's Not Him” by Miley Cyrus.

Hotfuzz  
Rated E for Everyone. Mild draaaamaaa  
May 2019

Janine's not him.

\---

Janine was a gorgeous woman, always the center of attention and affection. Her face lit up the rebuilt police station as she walked though it's doors. Although a portion of her face was concealed with a scarf.

“A woman is here to see you Chief.” Doris said with pursed lips as she entered Nick’s office. 

“Regarding what?” he replied coolly. 

“A little lady by the name of Janine. Well she says she used to date ya, and has seen you in the papers-” 

Nick scooted his chair back and stood in a flourish. Doris was taken aback and stepped out of the way for him.

Nick went into the lobby to see the Andes chatting up Janine.

Nick quickly interjected, “Hello Janine won't you please come this way.” He stated rather than asked. She nodded and smiled sweetly before passing by towards the office. 

“You used to date that woman?” Constable Cartwright asked incredulously before Nick left them both.

Everyone looked on in amazement, an angel next an Angel. 

Nick stiffened and took a deep breath before approaching her when they were away from prying eyes and ears. 

“What brings you to Stanford Janine?”

“I heard about the big case that happened here, about you helping rebuild the community, and being promoted to chief officer.” She seemed proud of him. 

“Well yes, I have accomplished a lot, but I have had a lot of help.” 

She stood in front of him and he felt he should avoid eye contact. Before he could ask her why she was so close she kissed him briefly. 

Nick's eyes widened but felt nothing. He was hot from embarrassment and she must have confused it for another emotion. 

“Won't you come see me at the pub later? I'm staying at that quaint little Swan Hotel.” 

“Janine I don't think I-” 

“I'll only be here for a few days Nick, won't you indulge me?” She smiled sincerely and lightly touched his shoulder.

He sighed but agreed with hesitation. She smiled and sashayed out of his office and everyone watched her go.

Nick quickly went back to his desk and began to double down on his paperwork. But his mind went elsewhere. 

Nick didn't know why he couldn’t love her. He had thought it was his job, the hours, but there was always something else. He just seemed to treat her like a good friend rather than a lover. 

When he really thought about it at night, he felt like he was just going along with the plan in life when he was dating her. The plan that everyone has, to marry and settle down and get a house in the country. 

Then he did fall in love, ironically in the country. And he felt confused by it all, but it was out of his control. 

\---

Nick felt a lump grow in his throat. The local pub, redecorated and under new ownership, housed several of Stanford's finest. He had texted Danny prior that he had left work early to see an old friend. He felt he should let him know now.

Danny sipped on his lager but smiled up at Nick as he approached. Nick sat beside him but before he said anything Danny asked, “Are you feeling alright?” 

“N-not particularly but I need to tell you-”

“Cause you said you were leaving early and-”

Nick was too impatient at the moment and lowly blurted out, “Janine came to visit the station, she wanted to see me.”

His boyfriend looked surprised, “How did that go?”

“Well she wanted to meet here, although I am worried about what.” 

Danny's eyes flicked behind Nick, “Well you're about to find out.”

Nick's eyes widened and he looked over his shoulder to see Janine enter. Easy to spot as she was not a regular and Nick had described her to Danny. 

Nick and Danny waved her over. She smiled warmly but declined any drinks when they asked. 

Nick flushed and introduced Danny, “This is Constable Butterman, you missed him earlier.”

She shook his hand and thought he felt charming. Nick was about to continue but she cut him off, “I’d actually like to go outside.” 

She turned slightly toward the door. Nick looked at Danny and took his hand, “Well Janine-” 

But she nodded at the two of them and headed out. Nick sighed. 

“Oh just go see what she wants Nicky.” Danny was about to sip his drink but Nick snatched it and took a gulp. Danny pretended to be offended. 

“Alright fine.” Nick whispered as he followed her. 

Nick and Janine exited the pub, Danny sipped his drink only to realize it was empty. 

\---

Nick and Janine walked partially along the cobblestone street in the dim lighting of dusk. 

“Dave and I, well we have separated.”

“Oh I am sorry to hear that Janine.” 

She kicked at the gravel, “Yes, just a week ago. It's alright, but…”

They stopped their small walk, Nick piped up, “But what?”

She held him by the arms, “Why didn't we work out Nicholas?” 

He seemed caught off guard, which was rare, “There was a lot going on.”

“The men in my life always seem so preoccupied. Dave said he loved me. Did you ever love me?”

Nick was at a loss, “I don't think in the same way you loved me.”

“Why?”

“Because..” Nick thought on it. 

Janine looked at him patiently. 

“You weren't the one for me at the time.” He replied. “You weren't...” Nick thought on it.

“Who?” She said with innocent puzzlement. She gripped his hands. “Why not me?”

He held her hands firmly, like addressing a friend, “We weren't a right match then or now.” He sensed where this was going. 

She went to kiss him again but he pulled away. She regretted it and took a step back. “Nick I…I want, I miss us. We can try again.”

He stared at her beautiful eyes, “I'm sorry but no matter what you say, no matter what you do, I just can't fall in love with you.” 

She looked taken aback. 

Nick continued and glanced at the pub, “I’ve found somebody else, and he and I get along well. You will find somebody.”

“Because I'm not,” she looked away towards the pub, “him?” 

“I wanted to love you and I'm sorry for what I put you through. And what you're feeling right now is just a phase, you'll get over Dave. Or at least go see him and tell him how you're feeling because I'm in a relationship with someone else Janine. We can't do this.” 

She thought on it a moment. “Do you love him?” He couldn't make out her expression. 

“There is no way anyone could take his place.” 

She sighed, “I understand.” 

He couldn't love her and he was only just beginning to realize why before moving here. But Danny cemented why. 

She smiled warmly up at him and adjusted her purse. “I think he was lovely by the way.” 

Nick smiled back at her. 

\---

Danny pretended not to be anxious or too concerned as Nick returned back to the pub alone. He passed Nick a drink, and waited for him to talk first.

“Janine decided to wish me well on the promotion, but she was upset about her current break up and well-” Nick shrugged and grabbed his cranberry juice. 

“She wanted some Sandford sausage?”

Nick sputtered out his drink.

Danny giggled and handed him a napkin. 

“I wouldn’t phrase it like that, but I told her that I’m in a relationship and that she should enjoy Sandford during her stay.” 

Danny sipped his still empty drink. 

“She said you were lovely by the way.” Nick side eyed him.

“Oh! Do you think I have a chance?” Danny gave an enthusiastic grin.

Nick laughed and they decided to head home.

**Author's Note:**

> Second Fic on AO3! I love this movie and The Cornetto Trilogy. I hope Janine comes off as a decent person who is just thirsty and sad. More Danny/Nick please.


End file.
